Weather moved in today, cold front rained down during the night and we woke to the first fall/winter chill in the air. Temperature dropped 30 degrees overnight and then the rain cleared to reveal bright, crystal clear cool ether air.
Feels like Halloween. Pumpkins are out.
When the wind blows the trees make a sound like:
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH…
Shh, hush you now down to sleep.
I’m sitting on the front porch with a clove and a glass of red wine. Patty Griffin on the stereo:
Ain’t nothing left at all in the end of being proud
With me riding in this car, and you flying through the clouds
SSSSSHHHSHHHHSSHHHH…
Occurred to me the other day
You’ve been gone now a couple years
well, I guess it takes while
For someone to really disappear
Today my heart is big and sore
it’s tryin’ to push right through my skin
I won’t see you anymore
I guess that’s finally sinkin’ in
And I wonder where you are, and where the pain is when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye…
Tonight my Nana floated up into that bright, clear ether air. My Nana died. 5pm she said goodbye, without a word. My Nana who’s been leaving us for the last couple years - Alzheimers, the long goodbye. This evening her body finally sighed its last sigh, spirit floated away while she slept.
SSSSSSHHHHHHSHHHHHSSSSHHHHHSHHHHHHH…
i’m sorry you lost her, heather, but glad she is flying over to meet you here. a perfect day for it.
Heather,
You can carry Nana in your heart with you every day. Then, listen to your heart and her words will come to comfort and guide you, you’ll remember dressing up in her wedding gown and the picture that was taken presumably by Poppy Sid with Nana standing beside you.
I carry everyone I’ve ever loved in my heart, even when they are no longer with me and are miles away.
Mom
In medias res.
xo
–D